Being strong doesn’t mean you’re built for suffering. So stop suffering for nothing!

This Calls For Acceptance, Not Denial. 

Do you remember the first time you survived something that you didn’t believe you could? It was probably a mixture of being cautiously grateful, emotional exhausted a bit prideful for what you have overcome. For some of us, the pride can grow the more we bounce back from life’s challenges. Each time we put ourselves back together, we have more evidence that this is just how things are for us. We can wear our strength, not only as a badge of honor, but a badge saying “If someone has to suffer, it may as well be me because I can handle it.” It becomes easier to sacrifice your happiness, comfort and peace of mind when you believe your strength has allowed you to be able to “take it”. We know strength is the only way we can survive certain things and it is normal to rely on your strength. What isn’t normal, is falling into habits of taking the hard way through life under the impression that you are destined to struggle. 

Your Gift Isn’t A Curse. 

This is where things get tricky. Strength is needed and valued, a true gift. But be careful, it can easily become tolerance. Is the same strength that can support you leaving a toxic friendship the same strength that causes you to accept toxic behaviors until you finally can’t take it anymore? When does our strength turn into tolerance, allowing us to hold our breath for far too long in suffocating situations? 

Recognize the moments where your strength appears as a cloak, hiding your true emotions. These are the spaces where you are likely to get stuck in cycles of people pleasing, performing comfort and disregarding your truth. Your strength doesn’t have to be a gift and a curse, let your strength give you the courage to protect yourself, your space and your peace of mind at all costs. Rather than being strong enough to endure, be strong enough to maintain your boundaries. 

See Yourself From The Inside Out. 

After years of disregarding emotions to maintain a strong image, others will start to believe (and even prefer) the facade. You’ll begin to appear as someone that isn’t phased by negativity, someone that doesn’t require the same care and attention that others may need. Your friendship can be seen as “low maintenance”, regardless of your true needs. The performance of strength becomes our situational truth and certain people may be fully convinced that you truly are an unphased pillar of strength. This is how you become the person that no one ever checks on, and eventually you forget to check on yourself. All because of a facade rooted in keeping others comfortable. 

Here is how we break the habit. See yourself from the inside out. See your emotions, feelings, triggers and inner thoughts before you see how others will react to your truth. Balance doesn’t come from disregarding the inner self, but being sure your outer environment reflects the needs of the inner self. Let the strength shown be a reflection of the security, comfort and ease you are experiencing. If that isn’t your present truth, seek comfort! You can find peace in all spaces, trust your courage to help you find the way. 

Knowing And Doing Better. 

Strong ones, be empowered (not burdened) by your strength. In moments of uncertainty, let your strength give you the courage to speak your truth, take a moment, focus on positivity, ask for support, or even to commit to reflecting on your own at a later time. Use your strength to feel secure when facing your emotions, be comfortable with whatever you are seeing and know that you can handle the work of understanding what you are up against. 

Say no to suffering! Walk away from spaces that require you to use every ounce of your strength to hold yourself together. You need your strength to achieve your goals, fight your fears and fulfill your purpose. Do not waste it on dusties and low down behavior. Say no, walk away, choose peace and rely on your strength to encourage you through any transformation. 

Most importantly, do not hold the past against yourself. Now that you know better, do better. Give yourself the freedom to create new habits without guilt or shame. 

Final Thoughts. 

When you have a choice to speak your truth or hold it in, speak your truth. Even if only to yourself. 

If your strength is keeping you in a space of pain, ask yourself what is your strength allowing you to endure. Work to have the same strength support you in protecting yourself. 

The more you allow your strength to serve you, the more comfortable you will feel leading with your truth.